In her case the barrier was not selfishness but the perception that her interest would be misinterpreted, naturally. If I can’t talk anywhere else—I DO want an understanding. You are nothing of the sort. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. Her mind went on generalizing. ’ Gerald grinned. He had quite enough to see to and worry about in the City without their doing things. “It is from his brother in Paris. By the time he had reached the summit of this hill, he had lost all trace of them; and the ardour of the chase having in some measure subsided, he began to reproach himself for his folly, in having wandered—as he conceived—so far out of his course. Nigel Ennison was my very good friend, but there is not the slightest reason for your not marrying him, if you wish to do so. “You shall drive home with me in a hansom, if you will. ‘You wouldn’t know one end of a pistol from the other. Seeing her improved mood, he had offered the Latin reading lesson strategically, knowing it would surprise her that he considered her capable. Perhaps she might never come back to that breakfast-room again. “Ass!” he went on, still warming.
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