But—it’s one of the things I’ve just been thinking over. "What's become of Ruth?" "Gone to her room. " "How long will you be here?" "To-morrow night. Unless—’ Something clicked in his mind and he stared at his friend without seeing him. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. His glance swept up again and found her staring at him with much of her usual defiance, if a touch less of her customary assurance. If ever I did meet a man I could love, I should love him”—her voice dropped again—“platonically. Then he rallied, smiling a little. ‘Gérard—’ ‘What now?’ he asked, rife with suspicion. Altogether different. She found him reclined, watching television in a small guest room hidden in a back wing of the massive house. He was all alone, like herself.
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